Life · TV

How My Last Days Affected Me

Over the last three nights, The CW aired a special broadcast of Justin Baldoni’s amazing passion project My Last Days. Each night featured two different amazing individuals and their passion for life, despite living with terminal illnesses. Needless to say, I bawled like a baby after each episode.

The first night, I broke down in tears after the episode ended. I suffer from emetophobia (the fear of vomiting) and it has halted my life in so many ways. It’s kept me from doing things I’ve dreamed of and made my life a living hell. Seeing Claire and Darth fight and enjoy their lives struck a chord in me, though. I realized I’m tired of being petrified of what my body might do. I want to travel, have fun, and accomplish amazing things in life. I sobbed until I couldn’t breathe. If they could face their illnesses with strength and grace, I could face this demon.

The second night featured Kat and Isabel. Seeing Kat enjoy food brought tears to my eyes. I’ve been so afraid of food and what may happen because of my eating that I’ve come to dread it. Kat’s love of food, though, showed me that it’s something that should be enjoyed and that it’s something that brings people together. Isabel’s journey completely broke down my emotional dam. When she met Gina, my heart was instantly filled with light and happiness. Two amazing women on screen sharing a mutual love and bond for each other touched me, and the love that emanated from that scene showed me that what I do (writing and creating YouTube videos) does make a difference.

Finally, the last night showcased Kendrick and Jess. I bawled like a baby as Kendrick’s dreams of being a gospel singer came true. His excitement for singing with Bebe Winans was infectious, and hearing his story of how he came so close to committing suicide struck a chord with me. I myself have contemplated suicide in the past, and I had a similar experience with receiving a message that I needed to keep fighting, to stay alive, if not for myself, for the people I love. Then Jess and Dan’s love story captivated me. If I needed evidence of true love and of soulmates, I saw it then. The love and devotion between those two gave me goals and ideals for what I’m looking for in my future husband.

 My Last Days isn’t just a docuseries to me. It’s been a life-changing experience. I feel hopeful for the first time in years, and I feel like I’m on the right path with my life. I have renewed vigor and determination in reaching my goals, a goal to overcome my phobia, and a clarity and light in my heart that I have never felt before.

Justin, I can’t thank you enough for creating such an inspirational series. You’re changing lives, and inspiring so many people. You’re bringing sunshine and hope to an increasingly dark world, and your talents have been a blessing to me. To everyone involved in the making of the docuseries, thank you for your time and dedication to such an important project. Lastly, to everyone fighting a battle, stay strong. Let’s fight together.

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